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POSTED AT 07:00 AM in Love

theletdown

I find the unnameable staring me in the face again.

I WILL NOT LET IT WIN, not this time around, not ever again.

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Something is definitely hurting me now. I just can't pinpoint what it is exactly.

Probably rejection? Abandonment?

Any one of those demons is haunting me at the moment.

I don't know the origin, though.

IDIOPATHIC.

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Morbid thoughts keep invading my head.

The latest one involves breaking the mirror in the bathroom and using the glass to slit my throat.

I may never be free of that, my psychiatrist said, but I can overcome it and overcoming it will make me a better psychiatrist in the future.

Oh God, give me the strength to pursue my dreams.

Listening to: Somewhere in the Middle by Dishwalla
Feeling: rejected